How To Calm Pre-Date Jitters

Friday, January 22, 2016

picture credit: "" (CC BY-ND 2.0) by w0arz

It's best to put nervousness to one side before going on a date
It’s natural to feel a little nervous before a date. Potentially, there’s a lot riding on this encounter. It could be the start of a relationship that will last a lifetime, but equally it might not. Think of all the dates that you and your friends have been on over the years, and then count up how many of those turned into lifetime commitments. 

With that (probably) small number in your head, remember that it’s a good idea not to have huge expectations on where a date will lead. Simply reminding yourself of this fact will take the pressure off you, and help you to relax and enjoy the whole experience. As you’re more relaxed, you’ll appear more outwardly confident and the date will probably turn out to be a lot more fun than you anticipated.

Take time to get ready
Feeling prepared for a date can help to get rid of any nerves. Take half a day off work before your date and book yourself in for a body massage, to release any tension that you may be feeling. Alternatively, have a beauty treatment such as a manicure, or do a little beauty routine at home, so that you can unwind and feel that you’re looking your best before the date.

While something like a manicure on the day of the date is fine, it’s probably best to avoid a facial, as that can lead to a skin outbreak immediately afterwards and you don’t want to be worrying about covering up little blemishes on your big night out. Similarly, if you plan on getting your hair done before a date, book an appointment for a couple of days ahead, so that your new ‘do’ has time to settle.

Put some thought into what you’re going to wear. You want to look like you’ve made an effort, but you don’t want to over-do it, just in case your date has dressed down for the evening. Otherwise there’s a danger of feeling uncomfortable and out of place.

Feel mentally prepared
As well as physically getting ready for a date, there’s an emotional side to it as well. Talking to one of the relationship readers at TheCircle will help you understand where your strengths and weaknesses lie in forming and maintaining relationships. For example, through having a reading where you can look closely at your love life, you may discover recurring behaviour patterns in past relationships. By understanding what has happened in the past, you may be able to avoid making similar mistakes in a new relationship. You may also gain a greater understanding of what you’re looking for. Are you looking to find a companion to spend time with at the weekends, or are you ready to start a full-time relationship and settle down?

Don’t go on a date fearing the worst. Everyone has individual anxieties around dating and one way to deal with that anxiety is to identify what’s causing it. Do you think that your date might reject you? Are you concerned that you’re not capable of forming and maintaining a successful relationship? Have you been treated unfairly in the past, and does that make you nervous about trusting someone again? Whatever your own fears, one way of dealing with them is to write them down. By putting anxieties into a list, though you may not free yourself of them immediately, at least you’ll have recognised what you are afraid of and this is the starting place for making an intention to let go of those particular worries.
 Don’t forget there are two of you on the date
When you’re nervous about a date, your focus tends to be on worrying what impression you’ll make and what your date will think of you. It’s helpful to remember that the person you’re meeting will probably be a little nervous, too. Think about what you’re going to talk about with them and how you’ll put them at ease. Show an interest in them by asking some questions and really pay attention to what they’re saying. Being a good listener is just as important as being able to demonstrate how interesting and entertaining you are.
Although you may still feel apprehensive when you first meet your date, try not to show it. Put on a big smile and look like you’re having a good time. This will help your date feel relaxed as you’ll appear to be more open and approachable. And that in turn will make you feel happier and more confident.

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Jackie Harrison said...

Great tips for when going on a date preparing calm and collective so true and have fun is my model be yourself.

Lilli said...

They are good tips Kim, I tend to be anxious but try to hide it smiling, which is a thing I usually do when Im apprehensive! Happy weekend! xo

Gabrielle said...

Avoiding facial treatments or anything that could possible result in a breakout or similar is a great tip! Nails need to be immaculate though, that's for sure! ;)

Nerline Germain said...

"Feel mentally prepared" especially if you are going on a blind date. My date was not completely blind because I had seen him online first, but I am terrified of blind dates. These are great tips, Kim! Thanks for sharing.

Rowena @ rolala loves said...

Nerves are totally natural in this type of situation but if one can find a way to relax it will be easier to have fun.

Miss Val's Creations said...

Great tips! I had way too many years of dating experience before meeting Jim. I would always tell myself to simply be myself. If nothing came of that first date, it simply wasn't meant to be. :)

Wendee Isaacs said...

great tips kim. It is very essential to be mentally prepared before a date, especially the first one.

Ashley Sue said...

These are all great tips kim!! As someone who has anxiety, I get really nervous before a lot of events and I definitely would before a date! But you're right that the other person is probably nervous too, and that putting on a smile and acting confident can really help!


Learning to just be yourself seems like a natural thing to say, but sometimes we forget that there's not much to be nervous about if you look at as two people just having a conversation. Relaxing helps! Have a great weekend.
FT Kitchen

Lorena said...

Well, I can only add to your first point - "expectation is the mother of disappointment... " that should get one to a realistic state.
However when the heart races, the judgement is clouded!

Helder Pereira said...

Great post dear!

Idu Emeziem said...

Great tips! Glad you included no facial on the day of. It just messes every thing up. A glass of wine would really be calming and relaxing, :)).

Shireen L. Platt said...

I recalled how I was a nervous wreck when I first met my husband face to face. We online dated for almost two year and thank goodness when we met in real life, we got along just fine and without any awkwardness! LOL!

Shireen | Reflection of Sanity

Jalisa G said...

These are such great tips for feeling more comfortable and confident for that first date. Man, I remember being so nervous on my first date with my husband! I was being all shy and didn't really eat and then when I went home, I raided the fridge because I was starving...we joke about it 'til this day, especially since everyone knows how MUCH I eat, haha! Great post, beauty; have a wonderful weekend!



Ivana Split said...

Lovely tips dear! Mental preparations helps me with pretty much everything, from tricky work meetings to personal talks.

Margo @ PrettyPanda said...

These are wonderful tips because I suffer from horrible pre date jitters so I will be trying some of these!

Pilar said...

Great tips Kim!