
I told you about my
Brownie-Girl Scout experience. Now let me tell you my
4-H Summer Camp story! I was given the choice to either go to camp with my best friend or travel with my mom to Cincinnati, Ohio. At 12 years old, I was a "big" girl and told my mom emphatically, "I want to go to camp with my best friend." She said, "Kim are you sure?" She KNEW I wasn't the outdoorsy type. I said, "Absolutely! We're gonna be in C-A-B-I-N-S! We'll be fine!"

Our parents boarded us on the bus and bid us farewell! My friend and I were so happy! No parents! Yaaay! My mom even packed a weeks worth of snacks for me. My best friend and I sang ALL the way there (4 hour bus ride). Upon arriving, the bus driver took a dirt road and all I saw was really tall trees. I whispered to my friend, "THIS doesn't look like what we saw in the brochure".

All of a sudden this woman (who looked like a man) stepped on the bus and said you have til 15:00 hours to unpack and meet me by the tree stump. 15:00 hours? WTF? What is that? They never taught us military time in school! Excuse me, but I didn't sign up for the army...this is suppose to be a fun summer camp! Well, my best friend and I walked in our assigned cabin and it was filled with bunk beds. What??? We don't have private rooms? <only child syndrome> Open bathrooms and showering??? My best friend started crying and said, "Kim, I want to go home!" What?! Go home? You're the one that convinced me to take this trip!!!

BAM!!! The cabin door flew open! In came the woman with the seriously cropped spiked hair outlining THE RULES."You WILL hear a bugle every morning!!! Upon which you will shower, get dressed and be ready. Go over to THAT building and line UP!!! Whoever has the straightest line shall eat FIRST! You then will complete the daily activities outlined on THIS paper and you may NOT return to THIS cabin until the END OF THE DAY!" Well goodness-gracious-GOD-all-mighty!!! I felt like I had just met The Wicked Witch of the frickin west! I looked at my best friend and she started crying AGAIN, "Kim, I wanna go home". Good grief!!!
Well, our cabin never once had a straight line, so we always ate LAST. The food was like slop (think back to the movie Oliver Twist) and it was cold by the time it was served to us.So we ended up throwing it away and literally survived on bottled
Barqs Root Beer (which is so good) for the remainder of the week. The very FIRST night, my best friend and I ate ALL the snacks my mom had packed for the WEEK! While eating a
Hostess cupcake my friend looked at me and said, "Kim, I want to go home". Oh girl, here's another Twinkie.

Archery, hiking, canoeing, pottery etc. were the classes we had to complete. I wasn't good at ANY of them! It was hot as hell out there and so we continued to suck down Barqs bottled root beer for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Sitting on one of the benches, my friend told me "Kim, I wanna go home." No kidding chicadee! Bottles up!

It was now WEDNESDAY and the weather was absolutely terrible! We were sent to our cabins early, because of the bad weather. Thank GOD!!! Praise the Lord! Hallelujah! I could FINALLY get some rest! During this bad lightning storm, a blonde-headed girl decided to blow-dry her hair. ALL OF A SUDDEN, the lights flickered and we heard a Zzzzz-ZAPPP! Yep! She got electrocuted. I was like LAWDY! The wicked witch of the west flew in, warned us to stay in our beds and not to budge. An ambulance hauled the blonde girl away. I was thinking, was that the only way to get out of this hell hole? BTW, she ended up being ok. During this fiasco, my friend started crying in the bunk bed below and looked up at me. I looked at her and said I KNOW, "you wanna go home!"

THURSDAY evening, they informed us the buses would arrive first thing FRIDAY morning! They said we should eat breakfast and board the bus. Well, there was NO WAY we were gonna miss that bus. My friend and I packed Thursday night! We were the first ones up Friday morning. We found the bus and started questioning the bus driver. "Is this bus going back to New Orleans?" He said, "Yes!" We said, "Are you SURE?" 12 year olds questioning an adult WITH A DRIVER'S LICENSE! HaHaHaHa He said, "positively!" We were the only ones on the bus and sat directly behind him to make sure. One wrong turn and we were driving the bus back to New Orleans ourselves ;) THIS time I TOLD my friend, "we're going home!". Do you know, she went to sleep!

My grandfather came to pick me up (my mom was still in Cincinnati). He said, "Kim, what happened to you?" You guys know how light I am. Well within one week, I was blacker than a blackboard AND skin & bones. Barq's root beer diet! It totally works. Just sayin'! HaHaHa I told him, "I got this!", and threw my suitcase in the trunk of his car. My grandparents fixed my favorite meal, red beans & rice with pork chops. I ate to my little hearts content and slept from that afternoon to the following evening the next day. Yes, a day and a half! I was so happy to see my Duran Duran records. Y'all! There's no place like HOME!
4-H is REALLY GREAT, but if you're not the outdoorsy type, just say NO! HaHaHa I didn't join a DAMN 'nother recreational club after that. HaHaHa I am NOT an OUTDOORSY GIRL :) I grew up in the 80's. The arrow is pointing to me.