Book Review: The Art of Not Having It All by Melissa Kite

Friday, January 16, 2015

I was sent a book to review, titled "The Art of Not Having It All" by British Author, Melissa Kite. 

Ahhh, the quest...to find...Prince Charming! Some find their soul mate when they're young. Some find their soul mate when they're middle aged. Some find their soul mate when they're older. Some never find their soul mate. Melissa Kite, who is a middle-aged, accomplished woman, shares with us her dating memoirs. Her path to finding Prince Charming (aka Dating Disasters) is definitely an interesting one.

She first speaks, as to what it is like to be SINGLE, when most of her friends and associates are married with children. She complains of having to call repair men to fix things around her home. If she wants something built, she has to pay and find a carpenter. She complains about lugging groceries into her home. The last straw for me, was her constant complaining about not being able to program her television's remote control. In her mind, she feels all of these problems will be solved if she finds a husband. Let's stop here for a second. I really try and be partial when it comes to reviews, but I must interject! I know married women, that HAVE husbands, that DON'T DO or DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO many of the things Kite lists above. I know married couples, that STILL have to call service men. I'm single. I'm middle-aged. I've never been married. There are things I wish I had a man for, but guess what? I try to read instructions, Google the problem and fix it, and if all else fails, I call a repairman! Life moves on! Kite on the other hand dates a couple of repairmen (Mr. Fix It's), which gets twisted when business and pleasure mix. She goes on a date with a fireman to fix her tv remote. He ends up not knowing how to fix it. She goes online and meets a guy. All looks fine, until she finds out he has a farting problem. Not only does he have a farting problem, but he also wants her to pay for everything. He ends up paying his half. She then goes on to date a rich guy that arranges his personal items in groups of 3's and 9's. Then she dates a super rich married man, and finds out he's sleeping with her and two other women. Another man she's interested in is gay, good looking, and shares the same interests as her. They contemplate living and adopting a baby together. There are even MORE dates she goes on, that don't work out. Trust me! I've had my share of dating disasters (and there have been many times, when I didn't make the best decisions), but her dating escapades takes things to an entirely different level. She gives any and everybody a chance.

This book is meant to be a comedy. I see it more as a comedy/tragedy. Kite does put a comedic spin on her dating escapades. You will laugh...at times! However, you're praying that the madness stops and she finds the right guy. I have good news! She finds someone! It doesn't say that they got married or anything, but he can fix everything in her home and seem to fix her. In conclusion, the problem I have with this book is that out of its 278 pages, it could've been cut in half. The focus of this book was to be about her dating disasters (which I applaud her for sharing). However, she rambles on about her friends & their lives, girlfriend getaways gone wrong, and British laws (placing recyclables at the curb during certain times & petitions). All of that should've been left out. Another thing is she starts off the book stating she called off her wedding, but never explains why. She just goes on as to how it is a pain, to UN-schedule everything for a wedding. Then at the end of the book, she finds a man but only devotes a little of the book to discussing him. It's like, I found somebody! Hope it works! Good bye! She went on and on about the other men (that didn't deserve that much write up). My horoscope the other day said (and it should be applied to this book), "don't make someone the STAR, when they only deserve to be in the CHORUS". The STAR of this book, should've been the guy that stayed by her side at the hospital, walked her dog and took care of her when she was sick. Not those other looney toons! She also doesn't paint a very pretty picture of single life. She advises girls to get married young, because it's slim pickings as you get older. She makes it seem like it's the end of the world if you don't get married and you'll live a depressed life. I truly believe it's healthy and important to have companionship, but you will not die nor should you dig a hole and bury yourself if someone doesn't come your way. I didn't always feel that way, but I rather be alone than deal with an idiot (just so he can FIX something). HaHaHa

Sweet-Bittersweet-NotSweet
supersweet(run & buy it) sweet(really good,buy it) bittersweet(ok, issues)not sweet(not good,don't buy this stuff)
  The Art of Not Having It All is NotSweet

No Comments Yet, Leave Yours!

Emma Henderson said...

Great review Kim - doesn't sound as if this has very positive messages. Also: I'm married and I STILL have to call repair men to fix things around the house!

Sonia De Macedo said...

I have to agree with you, I know people who are married or have boyfriends and they do NOTHING at all. They don't even take the bins out (if you'd classify that as a "male" job). I don't think this would be a good read for me. I'm single and for the first time ever, actually enjoying it. In fact I may actually prefer to be alone. I guess it would still be an interesting read though, her dating disasters and stuff but overall I think I'd get annoyed at the author too much. It seems like she compares herself to everyone else around her.

Sxx
www.daringcoco.com

Meghan Silva said...

Thanks for the honest review... goes on the list of books not to read haha.

Meg | Meghan Silva's Blog
@MeghanSSilva on Instagram

miss b said...

That's a very honest and thorough review! The title of the book sounds really interesting and yet from your account it's not at all what I was expecting. Searching for a partner to fix everything sounds so outdated too. I prefer your strong independent attitude Kim! Enjoy your weekend!

Stanislava E. said...

Kim, thanks a lot for telling us the truth, although the book was sent to you for a review! I would've given up on the very beginning. I just can't stand women's drama and I think I wouldn't like it!

sunandsany

Dale Janée said...

After reading your review Kim I totally agree with you that it sounds like a lot of stories about the 'Bad guys' and why not tell more about the one who she fell in love with and I'm so curious why she called off the wedding so why did she not talk about that? Also, I agree with all your points that she shouldn't generalize that if you're married you have a guy to fix things and like you said, you can always google it or I used to ask my neighbors in SF lol. Anyway, great review and I think I'll skip this one, but I bought the Elvis book you did a review on and need to start it soon. :)

xoDale

Mica T said...

haha yes I'm married and still we can't fix half the things in the house....we saved up for aaaaaages so that when we redid the kitchen, someone came in and designed it and then coordinated it all over a weekend, I didn't have to lift a tool, perfect! :) On the other hand I've known people get together and renovate an entire house from scratch....so I guess it's like all relationships, everyone wants (and gets!) different things.

Sounds like it would be a funny book to read, but the little things that annoyed you would probably annoy me too. I'd feel cheated if I didn't get to hear all about the Mr right she got after hearing all about the Mr wrongs, ha!

Away From The Blue
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Lilli said...

Oh, you have been very honest with the review and I think is the kind of reading I wouldnt enjoy just cause I share your thoughts, rather be alone than deal with an idiot, even though he can fix everything. Actually, when I need help in something, I google it as you Kim, lol. I dont like this way to see a relationship, I think the right man arrives for who is enough patient to wait it and most of all for who is already complete with herself :) Have a great weekend, hugs! xo

Random_Hi_D said...

Sounds like an awesome book. I'd like to read it sometime. Great review.

http://heidepadilla.blogspot.com/

Jackie Harrison said...

Glad you read it and finish it. If it was me I will not get to the end would not be able to handle a needy woman who complaints about things she could figure out for herself. As per having a permanent relationship if it happen be it if not lifes goes one. This book will be torture for me. I applaud you kim for finishing it. Have a great weekend.

Rakhshanda Rizvi said...

You have been so honest with your reviews and I agree with you Kim, Searching for a partner to fix everything sounds so bad. I love your strong independent attitude dear! Have nice Friday! Kisses <3

Nina Kobi said...

Interesting post. xx

http://ninasstyleblog.blogspot.com

LoveT. said...

Sounds good :) ,thank you for the interesting Review!

kisses

Butterfly said...

Interesting point of view, depends on the national trend, for instance in Romania is like she described in her book, every girl wants to get married early. But I agree with you, instead of living with an idiot is better alone. Although, regarding of what you said about fixing things using Google I must tell you that guys doesn't appreciate that kind of woman, maybe because thy feel emasculated. :))

http://butterfly9999.blogspot.ro/

Emmylou said...

Great review, Kim:) I'm gonna be honest..this is the type of book I probably would have super hated:( I don't believe in any of the things she stands for!

Ashley said...

Nice review Kim! I have a hard time getting into books like this haha! Thanks for your honest review on it. That's good there were some funny parts to it though :)

Shireen L. Platt said...

Have I ever tell you how much I love and respect your honesty? No? Well, I bloody love it!
I thought this would have been a great funny read but no body got any time for the unimportant nonsense. I just want the low down and dirty stuff. ;-) Seriously though, seems to me the author didn't have that much story to fill in the whole book so she tried to include unnecessary side story to fill in the pages. :-/

Shireen | Reflection of Sanity

Beauty Editer said...

Beautiful post! Love this so much.

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Rowena @ rolala loves said...

Thanks for breaking this book down in your review Kim. I'm not sure what to make of some of what she's saying. I was married early but I certainly don't think that's for everybody and it's definitely not the end of the world if you don't get married as you can still be happy and fulfilled.

Nicole Aguinaldo said...

Looks like an interesting book! I'll be sure to check it out! :)

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Julie's Lifestyle said...

Hi Kim, that is too bad about the book and surprised you read the whole thing! I hate when I don't like a book I'm reading. Wishing you a Happy Friday and a nice weekend.
Julie

Sara Gerard said...

Oh god, I would barf. There is no way that I could get through that book without wanted to smack her! I grew up in a house where my dad knew how to fix everything. But, things were delegated onto us. My brothers and I took the groceries in the house. My brothers and I learned how to do oil changes on our cars. We learned how to operate the remote. Geesh!

Cee said...

Kim, I commend you for reading the whole book - I couldn't have done it. Anyone who thinks they need another person to complete them has problems that only a psychiatrist can fix, not a romantic partner. And as for meeting someone just to get household chores done? I grew up with both parents at home and we never did anything but call a repairman! That's just life.
xox,
Cee

Miss Val's Creations said...

Oh my! This book would drive me crazy! I was single and dating throughout my 20s and into my 30s. I was totally independent but did want someone to share my life with. However I would not have a boyfriend just to have one. I finally met my soul mate at 36. Although I must say it is nice to have someone else to help mow the lawn and other such chores. :)

nancy @ adore to adorn said...

oh the quest to find love. It's a tale that everyone can write a novel about. How unfortunate that this one didn't really make the cut for a good story.

It's odd isn't it? We are taught at a young age to be the best person by our parents but society seems to also teach us that without a "soul mate" in our lives, we will perpetually be unfulfilled. When we see celebrities who are older (especially if these celebrities are women) "society" comments on how happy this person. We seem to combine the definition of self by our relationship status. It's a shame a book like this would perpetuate this notion as well. Especially since the title almost led me to believe otherwise!

xo,
nancy

Hell Notes For Beauty said...

I liked this review, sounds funny. There's so much truth in jest especially in the game of love, so interesting read!

Rosemary Nardone said...

Good review and you make some very true points indeed. I needed a good laugh today and you gave me that with this great post! thank you !!

Girl and the Polka Dot said...

Great review and honesty! The book is not at all what I thought it would be about.

Mel
http://girlandthepolkadot.blogspot.com/

Samantha Mariko said...

I need some new reads and this sounds like a really good one! i love anything funny :) thanks for the recommendation, Kim!
www.samanthamariko.com

Linda B said...

Ugh, yeah, I'll definitely be skipping this one! It sounds horrid - especially for a single gal. Haha, great review Kim :)

The Dragonfruit Diaries

Coco said...

Ahaha ok then! I'm going to skip this novel!
Baci,
Coco et La vie en rose - Valeria Arizzi

Pamela RG said...

I agree with you. She seems to complain a lot. I've learned that we must love ourselves first before anyone else can love us wholeheartedly.

Diana Ashuayem said...

Sounds like a not so interesting book..hahaha
www.effortlesslady.com

Jane @ anothermommablog.blogspot.com said...

I'd have stopped reading after a couple of chapters of those disastrous dates of just finding someone to fix something. Sounds like she just needs to find a good repairman and leave it at that.
Totally share your sentiment here. I got married later in life just when I least expected it. Life is too short to waste it on someone you don't care about just so they can fix things.

Jo said...

Wait a minute Kim. Is this a fiction or non-fiction book? I mean I simply CANNOT STAND all the drama and whining inside that I do hope it is fictitious. I agree with you about how some men don't know how to do those things in the house that she expects. Hello? I look for a mate not base on what he could fix in my house. She seems to have a very skewed thinking. And OMG, she goes on dating and dating and dating? Yes, I do know of people who go on dates after dates but none as loosely as her. I've had so much fun reading your review that I don't think I would want to pick up the book. Thank you for your honesty yet again!

RYC:
I knew you were into Benefit, Kim! You had such fine reviews for them. You are one who writes very interesting stuff, be it reviews or sharing about your outings so posting such delightful posts every day is a mean feat. I admit I have a hard time catching up with your posts but I do try to speed read through whatever I've missed. It's not an obligation to do so but I would like to at least know what's happening with you. I'm ignorant in this aspect even though we are blog friends for years, are you a full time blogger now?

Nats ~Coral Tinted Perceptions said...

Great review Kim, I hate reading book reviews which just seem like you love everything about it. I love honest reviews about whether a book is worth reading or not... have an awesome week x

Kizzy Von Doll said...

Oh dear...will skip this book!! Doesn't sound like a great one at all...super review!! xx

Rebeca Muñoz López said...

Well I think that life has no formulas, and if we had not all work the same. Do not you think? Kim interesting review!

little luxury list said...

Ehh it sounds like a beach read but one that could have been a lot shorter!

xoxo,
little luxury list formerly Chic 'n Cheap Living

oomph. said...

i'm with you. i'm very independent, especially being a single mom for 15 years. when i'm with a guy, it's because i want to be with him not because i NEED him.

LyddieGal said...

haha, thanks for sharing Kim - at first I was thinking this book could be funny, but I always hate it when things cross the line into ANNOYING. And I'm with you, if I need something fixed, I learn how to do it myself, and come on, she can't program the remote??
Chic on the Cheap

Ivana Split said...

so let me get this straight...she dates a guy to fix something in her house? are repair man really that expensive:)?

Getting married young may work for some but for the majority is it not a good idea. I have friends who got married at tender age of 18 (because she got pregnant) and they have a lovely marriage and two kids. I do have a cousin who got married at 19 and prior to that dated her husband for a long time (they're the same age). So, there is another happy young marriage, but really I cannot think of another example. All the other couples got divorced and all this in a very catholic country. Most people nowadays get married in their thirties...and really is it possible in this world we live it to do it much sooner...I mean find a good job and provide good conditions for kids to grow in.

I don't know why people expect their life will get fixed when they get married? In fact, it can get even more complicated. Because of my husband I have moved to another country and have experienced all kind of legal and professional problems. My standard of living got lower. My life didn't get easier, it got more difficult..I have a lot more obligations, both family and practical responsibilities... and a lot less free time. If I didn't love him, I would be long gone because really it has been all but easy...and he can't fixed things around the house either:). It was me who had fixed the washing machine...