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Friday, March 23, 2018

How to Know it’s Time to Cut Someone Out of Your Life

Friendships are crucial to our emotional and mental health. They are those people who love you for who you are, who are there for you when you are in a bind, and those who are with you through thick and thin. Friends are key support figures in our lives and should never be underestimated. That being said, some people that you might consider to be friends simply aren’t. Abusive relationships come in all forms, and when you have an abusive relationship, it is time to cut them out of your life.

They Make You Feel Worse About Yourself
When you feel worse about yourself after seeing them, you know something is wrong. Friendships should lift you up and make you feel good. At the very least the time you spend with them should be neutral, which is why when you feel low for any reason after seeing them – and this is a pattern – you know something is toxic about your relationship.

They Constantly Criticize You
Giving genuine advice and constructive criticism is fine and can even be beneficial. When all your friend seems to do is criticize you, you know something is wrong. Many times this happens because your friend personally feels better when they put you down. This behavior is wrong, and you should not stand for it.

They Convince You to Do Bad Things
If you consistently end up doing things that either you don’t want to or are against the law with someone, you must end that friendship. Even if everything else about your relationship is healthy, being convinced to break the law should never be condoned, and by agreeing to help or helping you can be charged with conspiracy. What is conspiracy? It is the act of assisting in a crime, even if your actions were not illegal in and of themselves. Picking up your friend isn’t illegal, for instance, but picking them up after they commit a robbery, is. If you break the law when your friend is around, you need to cut ties.

They Are Never There for You
Friendships are a two-way street. You should be there for them as much as they are for you. If you find you are the only one that is doing everything for them and that they aren’t giving back, you know that your relationship is not on equal footing. You don’t need to cut ties with this person, but cut back your effort. It’s okay to be causal friends so long as it’s what you are both comfortable with. 

They Gossip About You
If they share all of your secrets and otherwise gossip about you from behind your back, they are being a horrible friend. You don’t necessarily have to cut them from their lives, but you do need to step back from your friendship; they cannot be trusted with anything you say, and therefore you shouldn’t say anything.

Toxic friendships are horrible because they can make you feel terrible about yourself. When you are in a toxic friendship, start by letting your friend know what they are doing and how it is affecting you. If they don’t stop their behavior, cut them out. You will be much better and happier without them.


  1. Oh my, I literally posted on IG yesterday about a friend that treated me horribly for half my life during my younger years. It is the best gift to ourselves to cut toxic people out of our lives!

  2. This is so true. When someone has such a negative impact on our life, we do need to cut them out asap.

  3. It takes a lot but once you identify these people, you've got to let them go, even if it means family.

  4. So important! I find these relationships easier to spot as I grow older.

  5. Yes, yes and yes - I love posts like this and couldn't agree more. Its always good to remove the toxic / negative people from yo life as they only hold you back.

    People who love you support you no matter what and if you surround yourself with the correct people - that's all that matters.

    I've been through so much with people who claim they're friends however found out they're not and now, I've learnt my lesson and only have selected people around me!

    Layla x

  6. Knowing when it's time to cut someone out may be the toughest thing especially when you've been friends for a long time but it's for the best.

  7. I totally agree with all of this Kim! It’s so important to cut negative and toxic people out from our lives

  8. I love this post, Kim! I have been detoxing my friendship list for a while now. Originally I thought I would miss their friendship, but that's not true. I don't miss them at all and it gives me more time on people I care about. I treasure our friendship Kim, and it's too bad this year is a bad time to meet up. I really hope you can come to Canada and visit me one day. :)

    xo Jo


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