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Friday, February 7, 2020

Tough Love: The Self Care Opposite That Could Save Your Life

If there’s one thing we’re all good at these days, it’s self-care. We’ve all come to realize the power of a good bubble bath, and we definitely don’t shy away from yoga and meditation these days. We are a nation of zen, self-loving individuals. At least, we should be with all these go-to methods to hand.

Sadly, a look at the soaring stress levels across the nation and the world are enough to see that this self-care focus isn’t quite adding up to the happy lifestyles we hope for. The question is, why?

There are a few reasons, but self-care in itself might be one of the leading issues. No one’s saying techniques like these can’t prove invaluable, of course, but pampering ourselves too much is only ever going to lead to avoidance, and that’s a sure way to dissatisfaction.

This doesn’t mean you need to scrap the incense and yoga mats. It does, however, mean you could benefit from contrasting them with a few tough-love techniques like the ones we’ll be looking at here.

Be responsible, always
Self-love doesn’t remove responsibility but focusing on being kind to ourselves can encourage us into justifying lousy behavior. As such, your first step should be to take responsibility for those less-than-perfect things you do. The key here is not to berate yourself, but merely to acknowledge and take action. Something as simple as signing up for an addiction treatment program at last could be what you need, or perhaps you should seek therapy to address the harmful behaviors you express regarding others. These are all things you might overlook when being too caring, but they need addressing before you can genuinely feel happy moving forward.

Realize that nothing will fall into your lap
Self-care may be all about getting into the mindset for success, but don’t think that in itself is enough. The idea that we’re inherently deserving of opportunities and lifestyle improvements is one of the most harmful in recent years. And, it’s one tough-love can help you with. By realizing that you don’t ‘deserve’ anything without putting the work in, you’ll find yourself far more likely to put in the hours necessary to progress. Then, you can hit the meditation when you’re already where you wanted to be.

Fight for what you believe in
Self-care focuses are all about calm, collective processes, but there comes times where these simply won’t serve. If you’re passionate about something or see something that makes you uncomfortable, for instance, you need to do more than write about it in your wellness journal. Instead, you should take action, get your voice heard, and be the change you want to see. Then, you can write about it to calm yourself down at the end of the process!

You need to care for yourself, that much is a given, but don’t fall into bad traps as you do so. Mix wellness focuses with a little tough love, and you might just find that your life starts to improve, after all.
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